My kids have a death wish

Today has been a little hellish. Chris ate one of my birth control pills this afternoon (poison control says it's ok though), and then just after dinner the both of them took the eggs, strawberry syrup, and ketchup out of the fridge, cracked three eggs and poured the syrup all over the carpet under the table, along with their grape juice from dinner and some ketchup, and while I was cleaning that, they both ran out the front door and around into the backyard. We put them to bed early, which is good anyway because last night they would not fall asleep until 10pm and I had to drag them out of bed this morning at 7:30 for school (the bus comes at 7:45). It's been a long day. I'm ready for them to be asleep.